#dysfunction junction whats your function

[izzythehutt]

Dora walking in on her grandfather about to punch Sirius and her grandmother crying is..kind of the perfect introduction to her grandparents lol

Pretty much sums them up.

[creekfiend]

I've just had a revelation about the extent of my insanity and the amount of reality bending about my self perception I have been doing for the past half a decade and um. well. they weren't kidding that illness sure can be. mental

[astridellejo]

Kitab - An Inner Ear Hypothesis astrid elle jo - 18500

I've been reading a lot of medical research papers to try and understand why the barometric pressure is wrecking my hearing and balance. I've made this comic that (hopefully) explains the step-by-step process of how I went from Covid infection to vestibular fuckery over the course of a year (or two).

Bear in mind I am not a scientist. I majored in Religious Studies and now I draw comics and post them on the internet. This is mostly just me trying to understand why I experience excruciating pain that requires me to lie perfectly still on the floor when the weather is wonky.

Transcription and links to related research papers below the fold:

1. Me: Okay. Here's my hypothesis regarding my inner ear vestibular fuckery. [It's me back in late 2023, with a runny nose, a defeated look, and Covid in my body.] VO: Step 1 | Get Covid. Yes, I had it in October 2023.

2. [Mal the Witch, with one hand on a big drum and the other holding a hammer, and an incubus holding a staple gun to the oval window of the cochlea, notice some Covid-induced mischief going on with the eustachian tube.] Mal: Hey! We kind of need that! VO: Step 2 | Inflammation blocks the eustachian tube.

3. [Mal and Inc are stuck in goo.] Mal: Gross! VO: Step 3 | Middle ear goo can't drain properly, causing otitis media with effusion (OME).

4. [A creature emerges from the OME goo and starts glompfing on the labyrinth and cochlea. Mal and Inc are still stuck.] VO: Step 4 | OME dampens hearing and weakens the blood-stria barrier (the wall) of the labyrinth and cochlea.

5. [Perilymph and Endolymph are enjoying some music together.] Endo: What is all that commotion outside? VO: Step 5 | Perilymph and endolymph of the labyrinth and cochlea become more sensitive to pressure changes.

6. [A wave of pressure thunders through the labyrinth and cochlea with a BAROOOOM! Endo covers their ears.] VO: Step 6 | Positive/negative barometric pressure oscillation greater than 0.35 Pascals per second (85 dB SPL) will agitate the peri/endo lymph.

7. [Peri radios the brain with updates while Endo shouts in agony.] Peri: Central?! This is bullshit! Endo: AAAAAAAA VO: Step 7 | Agitated lymph sends inaccurate hearing and balance data to the brain in the form of tinnitus, nausea, vertigo, and other vestibular dysfunctions.

8. [Peri and Endo lie still, dazed by the pressure experience.] Peri: Ugh. That sucked. Endo: What? VO: Step 8 | Over time, lymph diminishes reducing vestibular dysfunctions, but also reducing hearing.

9. [Me in the Pepe Silvia meme, but with 'peri' and 'endo' instead of 'Pepe' and 'Silvia'.] Me: Temperature, humidity, pressure changes at control rate frequencies, loud sounds, blood pressure changes from exercise or stress… Me: …hunger, fatigue, dehydration. Hell, maybe even certain foods can trigger it! It's all connected!

Some of the research papers I've read on the subject (and one abstract):

Vestibular disorders in patients after COVID-19 infection

Combined Effect of Fluid and Pressure on Middle Ear Function

Relationship Between Cochlear Lateral Wall Changes and Endolymphatic Hydrops in Otitis Media

Lipopolysaccharide-Induced Middle Ear Inflammation Disrupts the cochlear Intra-Strial Fluid–Blood Barrier through Down-Regulation of Tight Junction Proteins

Endolymphatic hydrops and otitis media (abstract only)

Responses of the ear to low frequency sounds, infrasound and wind turbines

Atmospheric Pressure and Onset of Episodes of Menière’s Disease - A Repeated Measures Study

A critical evaluation of “leakage” at the cochlear blood-stria-barrier and its functional significance

Be kind to each other. Get your vaccinations. Wear a mask. You really don't want to get Covid. Trust me on this.

[junctionpointphysoi]

What Exercises Increase Blood Flow to the Pelvic Area?

Incorporating these exercises into your routine can significantly enhance blood flow to the pelvic region, improve muscle function, and support overall pelvic health. At Junction Point Physical Therapy in Grande Prairie, our expert physiotherapists create personalized exercise plans tailored to individual needs, whether you're recovering from an injury, managing pelvic floor dysfunction, or seeking preventive care.

#pelvicfloorphysiotherapygrandeprairie #junctionpointphysicaltherapy #physiotherapyexperts #pelvicfloorphysiotherapy #pelvicfloorphysiotherapynearme #pelvicfloortherapygrandeprairie #physiotherapynearme #physiotherapygrandeprairie #physicaltherapygrandeprairie #physicaltherapynearme #physicaltherapy #malepelvicfloorphysiotherapygrandeprairie #femalepelvicfloorphysiotherapygrandeprairie 

[vp0707262]

Is Your Child Facing Urological Challenges? Unveiling Causes, Types, and Risk Factors

Introduction:

As parents, we always strive to ensure the well-being of our children, addressing their needs and concerns with utmost care. However, when it comes to urological issues in children, many parents might feel uncertain or unaware of what signs to watch for and when to seek help. Understanding the causes, types, and risk factors associated with pediatric urological problems is crucial for early detection and effective management. In this article, we'll delve into these aspects, shedding light on the importance of awareness and the expertise of pediatric urologists like Dr. Abhijit Benare in Pune.

Understanding Pediatric Urological Issues:

Urological issues encompass a range of conditions affecting the urinary tract and genital organs in children. These conditions can manifest at any age, from infancy to adolescence, and may vary in severity. While some problems resolve on their own, others require medical intervention. It's essential for parents to be vigilant and proactive in recognizing potential signs of urological issues in their children.

Causes of Pediatric Urological Issues:

Congenital Anomalies: Many urological issues in children stem from congenital anomalies, meaning they are present at birth. These anomalies can affect various parts of the urinary tract, such as the kidneys, ureters, bladder, or urethra. Common congenital anomalies include vesicoureteral reflux (VUR), posterior urethral valves (PUV), and hydronephrosis.

Infections: Urinary tract infections (UTIs) are prevalent in children and can sometimes indicate an underlying urological problem. Recurrent or persistent UTIs may necessitate further evaluation by a pediatric urologist to rule out structural abnormalities or other underlying issues.

Functional Disorders: Some children may experience functional disorders of the urinary system, such as bladder dysfunction or voiding dysfunction. These disorders can lead to symptoms like urinary incontinence, urgency, or frequency, impacting a child's quality of life and requiring specialized management.

Types of Pediatric Urological Issues:

Hydronephrosis: This condition involves the swelling of one or both kidneys due to the backup of urine. It can occur as a result of blockages, reflux, or other structural abnormalities within the urinary tract.

Hypospadias: Hypospadias is a congenital condition where the opening of the urethra is located on the underside of the penis instead of the tip. Surgical correction may be necessary to restore normal urinary function and appearance.

Undescended Testicles: In some male infants, one or both testicles fail to descend into the scrotum from the abdomen. If left untreated, undescended testicles can lead to complications such as infertility and an increased risk of testicular cancer later in life.

Bladder Exstrophy: Bladder exstrophy is a rare congenital anomaly where the bladder protrudes through the abdominal wall. Surgical reconstruction is typically required to correct this condition and restore normal bladder function.

Ureteropelvic Junction (UPJ) Obstruction: UPJ obstruction occurs when there is a blockage at the point where the ureter connects to the kidney pelvis. This obstruction can lead to urinary stasis and potentially damage the kidney if not addressed promptly.

Risk Factors for Pediatric Urological Issues:

Family History: Children with a family history of urological issues may have a higher risk of developing similar conditions. Genetic factors can play a significant role in certain congenital anomalies and inherited disorders affecting the urinary tract.

Maternal Factors: Certain maternal factors, such as maternal age, smoking during pregnancy, or exposure to certain medications or toxins, may increase the risk of urological problems in offspring. Prenatal care and maternal health optimization are essential for reducing these risks.

Prematurity: Premature infants are more susceptible to urological issues due to the incomplete development of their organs and systems. Close monitoring and early intervention are crucial for addressing any urological concerns in preterm infants.

Previous Surgeries or Medical Conditions: Children who have undergone previous surgeries or have underlying medical conditions such as neurogenic bladder or spina bifida may be at higher risk for urological complications. Comprehensive medical history assessment is essential for identifying potential risk factors.

Conclusion:

Ensuring the optimal urological health of our children requires vigilance, awareness, and access to specialized care when needed. Dr. Abhijit Benare, a renowned pediatric urologist in Pune, possesses the expertise and dedication to address a wide range of pediatric urological issues with compassion and precision. By understanding the causes, types, and risk factors associated with these conditions, parents can play an active role in promoting their child's urological well-being and overall quality of life.

By prioritizing regular check-ups, prompt intervention when symptoms arise, and adherence to recommended treatment plans, parents can empower their children to lead healthy, fulfilling lives free from the burden of urological challenges.

Remember, early detection and intervention are key to ensuring the best possible outcomes for children with urological issues. Let's work together to safeguard our children's urological health and support them in reaching their full potential.

[naturalhealthcareservices]

Neuromuscular Therapy: Targeted Relief for Chronic Pain and Muscle Issues

Do you experience chronic pain, muscle tension, or limited mobility? If so, you might be interested in neuromuscular therapy (NMT). This specialized form of massage therapy goes beyond relaxation, targeting the root causes of your discomfort to provide lasting relief. Natural Health Care Services explains what Neuromuscular Therapy is and how it can help you below:

What is Neuromuscular Therapy?

Neuromuscular therapy is based on the premise that pain and dysfunction in the body often stem from imbalances in the musculoskeletal system. These imbalances can be caused by factors such as poor posture, repetitive movements, or injury. NMT aims to identify and address these issues by applying precise pressure and manipulation to specific areas of the body, known as trigger points or neuromuscular junctions.

How Does NMT Work?

The primary goal of neuromuscular therapy is to restore balance and harmony within the body's musculoskeletal system. This is achieved through a combination of techniques, including applied pressure, friction, and stretching, to deactivate trigger points, release fascial restrictions, and improve blood flow to the affected area. This process can help to:

Reduce pain and discomfort

Improve flexibility and range of motion

Enhance posture and body mechanics

Promote healing after injuries

Improve circulation and lymphatic drainage

Who Can Benefit from NMT?

NMT can be beneficial for a variety of conditions, including:

Chronic pain (back pain, neck pain, headaches)

Repetitive strain injuries

Sports injuries

Postural dysfunction

Fibromyalgia

Myofascial pain syndrome

And more

What to Expect During an NMT Session

The first session will typically include a consultation to discuss your medical history, pain symptoms, and goals for treatment. The therapist will then perform a physical assessment to identify trigger points and areas of restriction. The massage itself can be focused and deep, and communication with your therapist is important to ensure you're comfortable throughout the session.

Neuromuscular therapy is a powerful tool for addressing chronic pain, improving mobility, and enhancing overall physical well-being. By focusing on the root causes of muscular imbalances and tension, NMT offers a holistic approach to healing that can provide lasting relief and improved quality of life. If you're struggling with pain or looking for a way to improve your physical function, consider exploring the benefits of neuromuscular therapy with Natural Healthcare Services. Call 724-295-5591 today to make an appointment. www.naturalhealthcareservices.com 

#naturalhealth #naturalhealthcareservices #homeopathiccare #pittsburghholisticcare #pittsburghnaturalhealth #pittsburghchiropractor #pittsburghchiropractic #flexiondistraction #neuromusculartherapy #mindbodyspirit #loveyourbody #selfcaretips #colonhydrotherapy #colonics #pittsburghcolonic #holisticwellness #naturalingredients #healthymindhealthybody #healthandhappiness #naturalrelaxation #naturalhealing #healthymindhealthybody #healthymindandbody #stressmanagement #holisticstressmanagement #somatoemotionalrelease

[human-antithesis]

Silks Sphincter Anal Lumen

Stiffness in the tract To precipitate with grumes Sorening sites of regurgitate Obscure remains Infraspinaate boiling shit infect Suppure and abuse the Obliterating sphincter Junction of the arteries Pathogenesis cartilega Dissecting inward Tractally decimated At the necrose lumen Fibrose adorn Collagenic cutaneal Shredding in half On my masticxate I find Remains of shit Symmetric mucoskeletal Tenderness Pulsatille hunk of limbs As ectopia via anal xanthomes Streak the vessels Dissected and viciously molested The tract begins to Silks the fungoids My findings contrast In the flux of your edema Extended dampenings itchs Bathing the soak of the loath Regressed in the obliterance Of your lumen Cytoided scabbing Perfored ladders Epiglotes multiple organ dysfuncts With shit and vomits I fistulized the virulence Cadaveric flatulentia Pseud coprophagist Colonic activity Uremic odour increments In the boil Pelvic lupus grims in the drainage Rectal fissures in the most Putrid clench Plamatic shitty adornements Within my axe Septic silks pigments through The extirpating segments Cephallic lumen wrists Vollatile germs that dwells In the copro Clins and axes within your tract Blending your bowels Intrinsic in the plastia Sewing traumatic adipose and Adhesive fecal tripes Embryonic massacres In the fistules exposed Faeces having Ulcerative proctisism The hepatic strangled And perforated anal tract What I delight Visceral orgy With excrements in lumen Pro necrotic coagulated Morphometry in the blood Affected cryptogenous Coagulopathia Total coprophagist necrony Ripped half tractions Exhumating endothelial Fibrose effects Deviated disgusts in fractures Of the infected copro Emanating the rupture Vilism of the hacks Blothing quistic cloning shit In boiling shit I swarm Decomposing and calcinated Formaldehyde tissues Shoving feacalized pustules Into the groin Secretory exposing functions Within the vulva Smashed rejections Sick endocrine Multiple organ cianide Silks sphincter Excremental consumer in hacks Slaughtering via anal lumen

[thecrazyalchemist]

Who am I? What am I? What's inside?

That's causing this Malfunction

Mislabeled, unable, to repair this Mal-

Functioning just fine, I'm alive

At this junction of dysfunction, we arrive

What's your Malfunction?

Don't be scare, It don't matter how you wear your hair

What's your Malfunction?

Find its mirth, perfect's a bore for what it's worth

Gold, silver, copper, bronze

The dullest metal can still be strong

Well we might have our share of ticks

But honey that's how we get our kicks

Mah-ah-ah-ah-ahl function away

Mah-ah-ah-ah-ahl function away

Malfunction! Malfunction! Malfunction!

My function's desire

Climb higher than a spider on the wire

You function in mirth

But that sector might need rebirth

I'm about to pick you up

get you back up on your feet

you don't need to worry love

Even if we're incomplete

Come on baby open up

Pull out the wires and trim the fluff

Be yourself sounds so cliche

But hey let's do it anyway

We're functioning just fine, we're alive

At this junction of dysfunction we are arrive

What's your Malfunction?

Don't be scare, it don't matter how you wear your hair

What's your Malfunction?

Bring it forth perfect's a bore for what it's worth

Curvy, skinny, or bizarre

The best shape is who you are

Raise your hand if you're not from a mold (yeah me)

Varied strings are worth more than gold

Mah-ah-ah-ah-ahl function away

Mah-ah-ah-ah-ahl function away

Malfunction! Malfunction! Malfunction!

Feel the fires as they tickle your face

Watch and learn as they make you feel disgrace

Ones and zeroes left over, left out to haunt

Comb them in and let them want

I want more from this stupid life

Do you want more from this stupid life? (oh yeah)

Ones and zeroes, ones and zeroes, ones and zeroes

Add them up, take them up, show them

I'm functioning just fine I'm alive

At my junction of dysfunction we arrive

What's their Malfunction?

It's a start; Can we teach them not to fall apart?

Their Malfunction isn't us, it's all the clamor and the fuss

When I say that I love you, dammit Janet, take it as truth

Everything's a little broken

To be pristine well you must be jokin'

Mah-ah-ah-ah-ahl-function away

Mah-ah-ah-ah-ahl-function away

Song by Steam Powered Giraffe

nyooooooooooo

[thedevilscarnival]

i highly doubt spamton would ever be able to have a normal relationship in his life. like ever.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

The Rules of NMR

Recently a new student asked me “What are the Rules of NMR?”

I was flustered for a moment then my innovator/rebel answered, “There are no rules.” Since I did not follow a path in my studies that adopted someone else’s way of viewing the body, I’ve been able to innovate based on what the body tells me and I am seeing a HUGE IMPORTANCE for PRIORITIES in how we approach a problem to get the fastest possible results.

So yes, there are rules: the body’s rules = NMR’s Rules.

Here they are:

Correct the Sympathetic/Parasympathetic balance first. (Even that has Priorities)

1. Integration between R/L hemispheres of the Cortex. The fastest track to this starts with Brain Buttons http://www.neuromuscular-reprogramming.com/.../brain.../.

2. Space Buttons or CranioSacral Rebalancing or Polarity or Restorative Breathing can help the NS to deeply relax. The body’s ability to restore itself is optimized when we deeply relax. Hence periods of rest/relax are also good intertwined with your structural bodywork. Structural work is challenging to the NS, as we are pushing for change in a system that is committed to homeostasis. When there has been an accident or injury, this is paramount.

Reduce Torsions/Rotations in the Torso next:

Organize the base of the spine for reciprocal rotation in the waist/core pivot at T12/L1

Follow that with the Low Back and Hips Protocols for safely reprogramming the coordination sequencing of the hips and low back/core. (Detail of this to be found in the NMR Mod 1 Intro manual.)

Organize the Hips to Shoulders relationships before working on the shoulders and neck. This includes reducing torsions and insufficiencies in the diaphragm. Other than some general fact finding and massage warm up for the neck, changes will not be possible until the coordination issues in the torso are reduced. (Details on this can be found in the NMR Mod 2 manual)

Moving out from this basic level of organization one can begin to follow the client’s priorities.

The Thoraco/Cervical junction needs to be functional in order to change pain and dysfunction in the shoulders and neck.

Shoulders should be functionally rebalanced before working on elbow and wrist problems.

Hips should be functionally rebalanced on the way to working on knees and ankles and feet.

The Neck has its own priorities….Because of the complexity of neck issues the intricacies of reprogramming the neck in details are not explored until Mod 3 of the basic 72 hr, training and again in the NMR Advanced 30 hr in great detail.

Once big muscle support is available and relationships are functional one can start undoing the deep layers of detail in the soft tissue matrix of the body and even in the skeleton itself. The Reprogramming of the Spine is explored in Adv NMR also.

Contraindications:

Spot work. Too much in depth work in one area without a larger integration plan can be dangerous and leave clients in pain.

Releasing deep tension without an understanding of what it’s bracing for and strategy for providing the stability that requires it to be tight.

Digging to release spinal fixations. The spine responds best to support and movement instruction in the direction of its normal curvature and function.

(Neuromuscular Reprogramming)

[wern]

anyways im like. stalled out on my bed rn.. like you know when you tell a sim to go make food but you forget to give them a door to leave the room so they're just standing there. except i don't even know what my command is? like i cant figure out what im supposed to be doing? sleeping i guess. but that doesn't seem right. but it's 4:40am so

[creekfiend]

trying to sleep and the mice are like How About We Process Your Feelings About Your Mother

look I appreciate the initiative but can this wait

[draggeddowntothedark]

🎵 for Ick

For every 🎵 I get I’ll post a song I associate with my muse!

Who am I? What am I? What's inside? That's causing this Malfunction

Mislabeled, unable, to repair this Mal- Functioning just fine, I'm alive At this junction of dysfunction, we arrive

What's your Malfunction? Don't be scare, It don't matter how you wear your hair What's your Malfunction? Find its mirth, perfect's a bore for what it's worth

Malfunction, Steam Powered Giraffe

[flyingpurplepizzaeater]

Reason 1 million executive dysfunction cannot be just laziness: I keep going into the kitchen intending to make myself food and accidentally doing all the dishes and not eating anything

[homespork-review]

Homespork Act 2: The Racism of the Conductor’s Baton (Part 2)

FAILURE ARTIST: We don’t get much time to mourn with Dave because the comic flashes to a weird wizard statue. This statue is ZAZZERPAN THE LEARNED. Wizards are another recurring theme in Homestuck. Andrew Hussie once artfully defaced this cheesy book called Wizardology (warning: lots of really offensive humor). Anyway, Rose hates the giant statue and the other wizard paraphernalia her mother collects and believes her mother does this only to spite her. On a platform is a bronzed vacuum (with a place to put alcoholic beverages) that Rose gave her as an ironic present. On the couch there’s a life-sized princess doll that Rose has attached a Cthulhu-type head to. All these things set up Rose’s troubled relationship with her mother. Rose believes her mother is taunting her and Rose taunts her back.

BRIGHT: This scene also establishes that some things (the Cthulhu doll for one) are too big to be captchalogued.

CHEL: Actually, that was noted with the harlequin doll earlier but we forgot to mention that.

FAILURE ARTIST: Rose goes to the kitchen. On the fridge is a crude picture of her late cat Jaspers, who turns out to be more than a family pet. There’s more signs of this cold war between mother and daughter on the fridge.

CHEL: Also, numerous liquor bottles in the kitchen and comically exaggerated displays of wealth, such as a fifteen-thousand-dollar picture frame.

FAILURE ARTIST: After fussing with the fridge, Rose tries to leave the kitchen only to run into her mother. She tries escaping but lands comically in some wizard statuettes.

CHEL: Mom Lalonde is mopping the floor, with no water in the bucket, holding a martini in her other hand. The woman clearly has a problem. Again, this is an issue with the portrayal of the parents; this is pretty funny, but were a real mother behaving this way, it would seriously mess up the kid, and whether we’re supposed to take it as Rule of Funny or not later becomes inconsistent.

BRIGHT: I think a lot of the humour here is supposed to come from the implication that Mom Lalonde actually is a loving if clueless (and drunk) parent, and Rose is reading her badly. On the other hand, something is clearly very wrong, and while Mom Lalonde may indeed be loving the situation is definitely having an impact on Rose.

TIER: Say whatever you want, but when putting on the late game Cerebus Retcon goggles there are probably non-humorous questions to be asked about how screwy Mom Lalonde is as a parental unit if her daughter has ended up interpreting most of her actions as mocking or backhanded towards herself. Like, kids don't just decide that.

ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 3

CHEL: Back to Dave, he’s chatting with GG and they’re being adorable. GG comments about her birthday present to John, the green box we saw in the car earlier, and…

GG: no!!!!!!! GG: he will not open it GG: he will lose it!!! TG: oh TG: uh TG: wow sorry to hear that i guess? GG: no its good actually! GG: because he will find it again later when he really needs it GG: which of course is why i sent it in the first place! TG: see like TG: i never get how you know these things GG: i dont know GG: i just know that i know!

I think here is when we start to get inklings of the kids’ unusual abilities - I mean, unusual in the context of the weird world they live in. A bit more is established about GG’s home life and Dave’s attitudes, too:

GG: i have to feed bec which is always a bit of an undertaking TG: man TG: if i were you i would just take that fucking devilbeast out behind the woodshed and blow its head off GG: heheheh! GG: i dont think i could if i tried!!! TG: yeah TG: say hi to your grand dad for me too ok GG: ._. GG: yes i guess an encounter with him is almost certain GG: it is usually........ GG: intense!!! TG: well yeah isnt it always with family TG: but he sounds like a total badass

“Intense” in a world where attacking your father with a hammer isn’t worthy of comment sounds worrying. We’ll see how that goes.

FAILURE ARTIST: Dave has the tiniest of smiles here and in Hussie’s annotation he says that one pixel created Dave/GG. Whether or not their connection is romantic, Dave obviously feels great affection for her.

CHEL: Interactions between all four of the kids are really sweet, honestly. Dialogue and character interactions are one of the strongest points of the comic overall. Personally I have a soft spot for the OT4.

TIER: In my unprofessional opinion, the beta humans are by far the most functioning and tight knit group of the various groups within the comic, for what that's worth considering the overall dysfunction junction. They're sweet to one another is what I'm saying.

CHEL: Dave talks to John, who mentions the creepy trails around his house and how he thinks he’s seen monsters, which we the audience have definitely seen; creepy little black imps with fangs and, oddly, jester outfits. They bear a striking resemblance to the Wayward Vagabond, in fact. Dave makes fun, but at least pretends not to disbelieve him, and urges him to keep his hammer at the ready. Dave can’t find his Bro, but can find “Lil Cal”, implying Bro is nearby.

TG: lil cal is the shit EB: that's fine, you are entitled to your opinion, i am just saying that being a white guy who is a rapper with a ventriloquist doll is not cool by any stretch of the imagination or by any definition of word cool, ironic or otherwise. that's all i'm saying. WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 5

Would a non-white rapping ventriloquist be any cooler? I’m struggling to see how. Ventriloquism, by definition, sucks the cool out of any other aspect of the thing. And now I’m picturing Carlton from Fresh Prince trying to rap with a ventriloquist’s doll.

BRIGHT: Back at the Lalonde residence, Rose attempts to ‘Youth Roll’ out of the front door, but her escape route is blocked by her mother, who appears with martini glass in hand. Time for our second Strife of the comic! (And can I say that I really like the music for this one?)

As with John’s strife with his dad, this strife tells us a lot about Rose’s relationship with her mother. John had the AGGRIEVE and ABJURE options; Rose also gets AGGRESS (PASSIVE) and ABSTAIN. It’s pretty telling that one of these options is an EMPTY SUICIDE THREAT, and ‘Abstain’ has Rose fending off her mother’s insistent offer of the martini glass.

FAILURE ARTIST: I liked the EMPTY SUICIDE THREAT at the time but now I think it deserves an ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?

BRIGHT: Mom Lalonde may be intended as loving-but-clueless, but she’s offering her thirteen year old daughter alcohol, over Rose’s protests, and something is clearly very wrong if suicide threats are a normal part of life. (Something similar will come up in the future, but in that context it isn’t played for laughs.)

ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 4

On a lighter note, ‘Abjure’ has her mother offering her A BEAUTIFUL PONY. Rose reacts in the moment like this is terrible, but does later pat the pony’s nose.

At any rate, the strife ends when Mom Lalonde apparently gets bored and decides to do some dusting. This takes all the fun out of using the front door, so Rose goes around the back to make her break for the generator.

Meanwhile, John is trying to read up on weaponizing sylladexes (sylladices?), but is being nagged by a voice to turn around — which he finally does, just in time for a monster to ram into him so hard it turns the panel pixelated. Strife time!

John’s bout with the Shale Imp kicks off with the monster threatening the Con Air bunny. John’s efforts to defend it are intercut with Rose’s progress out of the house and through the rain to the mausoleum. I think this interplay works quite nicely — it keeps both things moving without letting the reader get impatient -- but your mileage may vary.

The imp aggravates John by punching the bunny in the belly and waving it at him. John attacks the imp and breaks his hammer, then attacks it with the handle and gets knocked flat. Finally he weaponises his sylladex and chucks his inventory at it until it explodes into a shower of grist.

PUT THE BUNNY BACK IN THE BOX!!!!!! Now why couldn’t he put the bunny back in the box?

Because he’d set it as his strifekind, it turns out.

In true video game style, defeating the imp causes John to level up! In Homestuck, this is done by ascending one’s echeladder, a series of player levels with whimsical, old-fashioned names. John climbs two rungs, from Greentike to Plucky Tot, and earns 125 Boondollars.

Note how efficient this is: In one panel we can see that the echeladder is a levelling system, that Boondollars are in-Game currency, and that levelling up has increased John’s amount of grist and how much of it he can carry. He’s also got a new kind of grist called ‘Shale’. Hussie does take an extra panel to clarify the grist capacity expansion, but that makes sense as it’s a small part of the original panel. Compare this to the dozens of panels we’ve had laying out how sylladexes work. These panels are much more information-dense, and the comic flows better for it.

CHEL: Exactly what “grist” is and what it does beyond allowing changes to the house, why those changes are needed, and what “boondollars” are for hasn’t been explained yet, but will be soon, and it’s clear they’re something to do with the game so it’s not outright confusing.

BRIGHT: John spends the next few panels sorting his strife specibus out, and stashes the bunny in there for safekeeping. There’s something amiss, but he can’t quite put his finger on it...

Meanwhile, Rose has reached the mausoleum and prepares to activate the generator. The taxidermied corpse of her beloved pet lies in state, dressed in a tiny suit. A sad fate for an animal who should have peacefully decomposed in a flowerbed. Rose kicks it off the pedestal to make room for the laptop.

John discovers what’s wrong when a bucket of water perched atop his door lands on his head. The culprit behind this sudden dousing?

"[S] WHAT THIS IS SO OUTRAGEOUS (HD)" (Watch on YouTube)

Apparently the sprite has a sense of humour.

Next up is a pesterlog between Rose and Dave. There are hints that all is not well in the Strider residence.

TG: hey TG: dont tell john this but i think he might have been right about the puppets TG: theyre sort of starting to freak me out a little TT: You're referring to your brother's collection? TG: i mean dont get me wrong i think its cool and all TG: the semi-ironic puppet thing or whatever TG: or semi-semi ironic TG: man i dont even know TG: im just starting to think some of this shit is going a little far and its kind of fucked up TT: I've seen his websites. TT: I like them. TG: haha yeah well YOU WOULD TG: oh man i wish lil cal wouldnt look at me like that TG: with those dead eyes jesus TG: sometimes i dream that hes real and hes talking to me and i wake up in a cold sweat and basically flip the fuck out

Well, not so much hints as flashing neon signs. Dave’s gone very quickly from insisting that everything his brother does is cool and Lil Cal is awesome, to admitting that he has nightmares about Lil Cal and is freaked out by his brother’s ‘semi-ironic puppet thing’. We don’t know much about Bro’s websites yet, but we do know that Rose has a morbid streak, and Dave is clearly disturbed by the content.

Dave leaves to find his brother’s copy of the game, and we return to John, who, to quote Rose, has ‘just had a bucket of water dumped on his head by the ghost of his dead grandmother, who also happens to be dressed like a clown.’

And yes, that is indeed John’s dead Nanna, returned to help him on his journey through The Medium and beyond -- or at least, she claims she is. John has to take her word for it, as he doesn’t remember her at all. According to his Dad, John was pretty young when she died. Speaking of his Dad, he’s been kidnapped by the forces invading John’s home.

Nannasprite gives John the background of the game and what’s going on. His house is now in the Medium. This place was created by the game software, but is physically independent of it -- and no, he’s not inside a computer. The Medium floats in the Incipisphere, a place outside the normal flow of time in the kids’ universe. Above the Medium is the realm of Skaia.

According to Nannasprite:

Legend holds that Skaia exists as a dormant crucible of unlimited creative potential. What does this mean, you ask? I'm afraid my lips are sealed about that, dear! Hoo hoo!

Nannasprite is somewhat like a tutorial assistant for the game -- she helps guide John and provides information, although she’s somewhat cryptic.

We are getting a lot of new words here, but Hussie is defining them pretty well as we go, so I don’t think it merits a point.

At any rate, Skaia is defended by the forces of light, while forces of darkness plot its destruction. These two forces exist in an endless stalemate on a stage at the centre of Skaia until a player with a prototyped Kernelsprite enters the Medium. Then the prototyped Kernelsprite splits, with one Kernel carrying the prototyping information up to a kingdom basked in light, and another Kernel carrying it down to the kingdom of darkness. Each kingdom has four Spires, and when the Kernel reaches one, it propagates the prototyping information to the kingdom’s forces.

This is why the imps were dressed as jesters: John prototyped his Kernel with the harlequin doll, and whatever the other players prototype with will influence what forms the soldiers take. When the first Kernels reach the spires, the battlefield gets bigger and the war begins for real.

Oh, right -- and the forces of light are always destined to lose.

So what’s the point? Apparently, that’s for John to find out. For now, though, he needs to head towards Skaia, going through the first of seven Gates. The first Gate is situated directly above John’s house, but the others are going to be harder to reach. We now find out what all that Build Grist is for: To get to the Gate, they need to build the house higher to reach it. And then they can rescue John’s Dad, solve the ultimate riddle, and save the Earth from destruction!

...or not.

Nope, according to Nannasprite, Earth is doomed. Done for. Kaput. There is nothing they can do to save it.

John is pretty bummed about this. He isn’t cheered by Nanna’s assurance that he has a much more important purpose than saving the planet, although she fails to elaborate on that point and instead floats off to make cookies.

CHEL: I think here we earn another couple of points.

HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 2 HOW NOT TO WRITE A WEBCOMIC: 11 Failing the Turing Test - wherein the character has no reactions whatsoever While the emotional lives of characters should not be described in their every tiny wrinkle, characters must have emotional lives. When someone boos them off a stage, they should experience chagrin. When they fall from a tenth-storey window, they should feel alarm. The writer should not count on dialogue like “Yikes!” to get the point across.

Brief confusion and feeling “bummed out” by the news that one’s entire planet is doomed does not count as an adequate reaction. I’d expect more fear, more concern. As pointed out before, doesn’t John have any friends other than Dave, Rose, and GG? His Dad has friends, wouldn’t he be concerned for them on Dad’s behalf? If nothing else, more curiosity about this “more important” business?

BRIGHT: Now, I could actually buy this in some circumstances — John is a teenager, doesn’t seem to have close connections outside those we see on screen, and he’s been having one hell of a weird day. I wouldn’t be surprised if grasping the scope of destruction was simply beyond him at this point. It’s a lot to take in, and it’s only been a few hours since life went to hell in a handbasket — not to mention, he’s in an active combat zone. There’s a lot going on, and if he was to shove it out of his mind while he dealt with the immediate crisis, I could see that as pretty realistic.

Of course, that would depend on him actually reacting at some later point, when he had a chance to slow down and it could sink in. As it stands...well, if that does happen, we never see it.

CHEL: Does this also count as “Oh, Don’t Mind Him” for the How Not To score?

BRIGHT: I think so, yes.

CHEL: Then here it goes!

HOW NOT TO WRITE A WEBCOMIC: 12 Oh, Don’t Mind Him - where a character’s problems remain unexplored In real life, people are riddled with chronic problems that are not addressed for long periods of time, if ever. But in fiction, all problems are just the opening chords of a song. If there is a brother who has a problem with alcohol, a child who has lost her dog, or even someone whose car has simply broken down, the reader will worry about those people and expect the author to do something about it.

Technically, this could count for seven billion or so points, minus any people who successfully entered their own game sessions, but we don’t want to get out of hand here and it really only counts as one big problem.

However! I am very fond of this idea in theory. The obvious option would be that the purpose of the game is to save the player’s homeworld. We’ve all seen the “save the homeworld” idea in scifi and fantasy before. Here, the homeworld is beyond saving, but there is another option, and exploring that is the storyline. The forces of light cannot have a traditional victory; the protagonists must find a victory on the terms they have. It’s not a theme one sees often, and I like it.

FAILURE ARTIST: John and the other Beta Kids’ lack of angst of the destruction of their planet doesn’t stick out as much here as it will later when almost everything else is milked for angst.

CHEL: I’m not really sure the planet being destroyed is a great basis for a Rule-of-Funny-based story if that was what he was going for, to be honest. “Billions died, lol!”

[dysfunctionjunctionrp]

hi! i'm really interested in joining but i've never been in a discord rp before. could you possibly explain a little bit about how it works? thank you so much!

Yes, of course! This post is going to be a quick rundown of how basic roleplaying works on the server. We also have a few systems in place for tagging triggers, events, etc. but that can all be learned as you go in server.

When it comes to roleplaying on Dysfunction Junction there’s two primary forms of roleplaying: in-app and para.

In-App roleplay is script rp that takes place in the fictional Dysfunction Junction app that all characters have been added to. There are several different types of chat: the main chat which all characters have been added to, faction chats (hero, villain, neutral and civilian) which characters can request to be added to, and direct messages.

Para, on the other hand, is any real world interactions. They’re written out in paragraph format exactly like most other forms of rp. It’s really just that straight forward.

To expand on these concepts, I’ve included some screencaps with more explanation, but overall we’re very welcoming to people new to discord rp so don’t worry too much about it! On top of being more than willing to help you get settled in, we have an rp guide on the server that goes into more detail about certain features of the in-character app and how to get started.

The following is a screenshot of all of the current in-character categories. Dysfunction Junction App has everything related to the core features of the app: the main chat, faction chat, a social media channel, and an ic news channel. Upper & Lower Manhattan, The Boroughs, and Greater New York City are where all of the real world threads go. Chinatown Relief Benefit has all of our threads relating to that specific event. And, the various Direct Message and Text Message channels are for just that, with the difference between Direct and Text messages mostly coming down to helping create a distinction between Peter Parker texting Gwen Stacy and Spider-Man messaging Gwen in the app, for example.

The following is an example of what RP in the #main-chat looks like. The emojis at the beginning of every message signify which character is talking. We also have various little formatting techniques to signify if a character is typing, taking a long time to reply, etc. when it’s relevant to the mood of the conversation. Those are more like “advanced techniques”, though, and things you’ll get a feel for as you participate.

In character, chats in the app look something like this, with the emojis acting as an icon. Basically as a way to give the emojis an in-character use as well as a practical one.

Direct Messages function basically the same way as the main chat, except it’s a private discussion, usually between two characters, but like using discord itself private group chats can be created as well. We have “generic” DMs listed under Direct Messages (Gen.) which can be used by anyone on the fly, and then when characters have been DMing consistently for a while players are free to request a channel unique to those characters.

As stated before, para threads are just that, but to make it extra clear, here’s an example of a para reply! Unlike in-app messages, these don’t require emojis as it should be clear reading it who the characters involved are.

I hope that answers your question! If you have any more don’t hesitate to ask. Like I said at the start, we’re more than happy to help players new to discord rp get settled into the server. Don’t be afraid to send in an app and learn as you go. Sometimes things are easier to understand seeing them in action. 

We hope to see you soon!